Perfectly, Imperfect

Self-Actualized people are not perfect people, who neatly fit into a package.  They are human-beings and flaws are part of experiencing humanness. Self-Actualization is more a matter of degree

There are no perfect human beings!  Persons can be found who are good, very good indeed, in fact, great. There do in fact exist creators, seers, sages, saints, shakers, and movers...even if they are uncommon and do not come by the dozen.  And yet these very same people can at times be boring, irritating, petulant, selfish, angry, or depressed.  To avoid disillusionment with human nature, we must first give up our illusions about it.  -Maslow, 

These people are very much aware that they are not faultless, however these areas of limitation are seen as areas of growth and in this way the self actualized person is perfectly, imperfect.

This way of looking at life embodies the Japanese Philosophy of Wabi-Sabi.

Unique Humor

Maslow saw that the Self-Actualizer had a unique sense of humor.  These individuals did not find the typical jokes amusing.  Most humor is hostile and most people laugh at jokes intended to hurt someone, point out a person peoples inadequacies, or are indecent (smutty).  The Self-Actualizer character is to seek growth and be informed; which creates a humor that is philosophical and unhostile. They also possess the ability to laugh at themselves.

Democratic

The Self-Actualizer can be seen as democratic by nature.  They are never snobbish; they are able to be humble enough to know that they are able to gain insight from anyone and this makes them wise.  They possess a sense of reverence for all people as possible teachers and/or mentors.  They hold this respect for people because what they see in other people is possible learning opportunities that will help expand their knowledge of themselves and the world. They are amiable to each person who comes into their life and encourage social equality for everyone. Classifications such as class, education, race or color are not things they take into consideration when dealing with people, and they seem unaware of such things. Discrimination, vindictiveness, cruelty, and all forms of abuse to anyone or anything is something they are strongly opposed too.

Benevolent and More Loving

The Self-Actualizer is munificent.  They are sociable, gracious, and affectionate to most people around them. They have a delightful way about them making others feel at ease and in awe of their benevolence.  However, the Self-Actualizer is careful as to whom they allow in their inner circle and they typically only have a few close personal relationships in which they uphold a strong and deep connection. These bonds that they form with others are rich and are typically with other Self-Actualizers or people who are demonstrating the capacity to become Self-Actualizers.  Those close to them are loved with an intensity that feels more intense, because most people cannot conceive their selflessness in which they give of themselves, and most people are in awe of this attribute. 

The Self-Actualizer is not a jealous or possessive lover, what they love is the nature of things, its essence and core.  This way of loving Maslow would say is “being-Love” (B-Love).  In B-Love the gift for the Self-Actualizers is in the sole pleasure of being able to give.  The reward for the Self-Actualizer is in being able to express love.  Self-Actualizers do not feel threatened by the success of loved ones, but become overjoyed for them and will do what they can to help make this happen if they can.  What these individuals find attractive in other people is their character, over physical attributes.  In sexual relationships, they would prefer to practice celibacy, over having sex without love and intimacy.  The meaning of love, the feeling of love in an intimate partnership is something that they value.

Mystical - Peak Experiences

The mystical or as Maslow called them Peak Experiences, are experiences mostly written in philosophical traditions, such as the Buddha becoming enlighten.  They also can be what many people feel in their religious practices.  The peak experiences are moments of complete bewilderment of how the universe around us works, giving the Self-Actualizer a deep understanding of the greater good and fueling them to continue on the path of problem solving.  The feeling is expansive and delicious, once experienced it seems the fear of uncertainty is abandoned, welcoming life’s mysteries with zeal, and staying focused on the solution.  In these occurrences dichotomies fuse together, like the feelings of being completely helpless while simultaneously feeling powerful, yet fully integrated.  

"Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences." - Maslow

These peak (mystical) experiences are episodes all humans have felt, but the Self-Actualizer seems to have more than the typical person.  This is why the Self-Actualizer is able to attain the unattainable and achieve the impossible.  This magnificent feeling, which Maslow also called “Oceanic”, because it comes in waves and varies in intensity and frequency, also affords the Self-Actualizer to be more playful and they can lose their sense of time and space.  Maslow saw that the after having a peak experience people are less neurotic, see themselves in a healthier light, have a better perspective of others and their relationship with people, have a improved view of the world, become more creative, spontaneous and expressive, their enjoyment of the experience creates a desire to repeat the incident, and overall they see that life is valuable.  

Gracious

Self-Actualizers have the awe-inspiring gift to be grateful, and in this way they are some of the most gracious individuals you will ever encounter. They appreciate things with newness. They are able to experience the normal every day event with wonder.  Maslow called this unique way of gratitude “continued freshness of appreciation” because these people are able to feel stimulated, awe, exhilaration, bliss, in the face of what most people would see as a mundane day.  These passionate feelings are not felt every moment of the day, but these moments tend to come out of the blue, or in waves.  These moments are known as “Peak Experiences”.  This allows the Self-Actualizer to be fully alive, fully present in these moments and they are able to transcend into a spiritual realm.